Still reeling from the sudden resignation of head coach Hugh Freeze, the University of Mississippi chose Matt Luke as the interim head coach. Luke might end up with the job next season, but there will be plenty of people gunning for the head coaching position at an SEC school.
Even with potential NCAA sanctions looming, an opening in one of the top conferences will attract a lot of attention. Not all the candidates for the UM job will turn out to be winners, though—especially the one that you’re about to see.
This week’s “Friday Funny” might not be super funny right now to University of Mississippi fans. released a fake video résumé for the head coaching job of the Rebels.
In the parody, an unnamed candidate explains that he was forced to make a video résumé after several unreturned fax messages. Next, the hopeful future coach of the Rebels tells university officials several things that they might not know about him.
These include the facts that he has a blue belt in Jujitsu, he lost both nipples in a near-fatal scooter accident, and for several years, he thought he was a wizard. Of course, being a wizard might be the only way to defeat the University of Alabama most years.
In coaching experience, he says that he spent 20 years as the head coach of a pee-wee football team, and his players even voted him Most Awesome Coach in the World in 2005.
The final joke is a dig at Freeze. As the potential head-coaching candidate points out, he has never called a prostitute because he is still on his mother’s phone plan.
It would seem like a long shot that this guy would end up with the job—even ignoring that he isn’t real, of course. But if a former high school coach can become the Rebels head coach, why not a former pee-wee coach?
The press conference announcing that guy as the head coach would be great. Question number one has to be, “How do you lose just your nipples in a single accident?”
From there, the press conference could go a number of different directions, but all of them would be entertaining. In fact, I’m starting to think that the university should just pull the trigger and hire this guy right now.
The Rebels don’t want a coaching candidate like this getting away.
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